Thoughts rolling

An extension on the Cloud/Thought analogy.

And speaking of which, what if we could cloud-think, the way cloud computing works?
Maybe we kindof already do? I guess that's the idea behind a "brainstorming" session.
wow. lol

Anyways.

So, thinking about people recently, does it not seem at times as though similarities somehow naturally attract? As in, some parts of your life, of your mindset, or anything else you thought was relatively unique to you, are found in people you become close to. The, "No, really? omg, me too!" moment must be cliche because it's so damn common. I mean, it feels like similar people somehow just find each other, as though those similarities draw them to each other. Feels special to find some deeper connection to someone you never imagined. But on the flip side of that, it's hard not to feel jaded about people. And how special it is that an acquaintance I always felt inexplicably close to, that friend's grandmother also died when he was in High School? And it was a turning point for him? Is that why I always felt comfortable with this guy? Who the hell knows? Is that really that special, though? In retrospect, it seems less so. Stereotypical, almost.
Humanity, as beautiful as it is, is just that homogeneous.

My whole life seems like merely a collection of stereotypes. Perhaps that combination is relatively unique, but that doesn't make me feel any less like a formula, or any more special.

Starting to ask myself why I'm so damn pre-occupied with novelty, experience, and humanity.
I isolated one thing recently. It went like this:
SE) Why do I hate myself?
Id) Average.
SE) Why am I average?
Id) I'm not average.
Just not very special.
SE) Why am I not special?
Id) I suppose I am, to some people.
That counts.
SE) Why does that still bother me?
Id) I'm a walking stereotype.
Nothing about me is novel.
SE) Why does it matter if I'm novel or not?
Id) I'm just another body in a sea of 6 billion people.
SE) So, the only way to cure this feeling is to stand somehow above the waves?
Id) I guess that's what I mean, yeah.....
SE) That's called famous, not special. You're special. So, what, you want to be famous?
Id) Well.... I dunno about that. But yeah. Yeah, if that's what it is, I wanna be famous.
SE) (facepalm) Well, get famous already.

The Korean word for humanity literally translates to "Human Beauty," which I understood at first, but didn't immediately translate in my mind as "humanity." Maybe that reveals something about my psychological profile, and how it differs from the Korean mind.

I feel like doing drugs. That's pretty terrible, I guess. But it doesn't feel bad. Can't say why I feel like it? Probably just wanna do something new. Or maybe it's Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" video? I guess this means Id is winning lately.
Don't want to be a teacher anymore. Because being a bad boy like he wants to be is not compatible with being a teacher. I'd get in trouble and lose a teaching job. I think I'll just get some menial part-time job when I get back to the US. Always wanted to do that. Food Lion was awesomely mindless the one week I worked there.

I'm fucking numb.
Cloud's not a particularly passionate thing to be. Pretty passive. Ethereal. But that's accurate, for now.