I have been played by many girls, and was totally oblivious.
Is it possible that the person beside me is not connected to me in any way?
My religion is not something that I share.
God, how old am I?
I will save the water for now.
Simply I should stand beside my friend.
Who will stand behind me?
How could they? I don't let them.
Dammit, I should let go of that regret, that anger. Suddenly I'm back in high school, angry at my cousins, at my grandmother. There was nothing wrongfully done. Only a selfish angsty fright that something was missed when I arrived only hours too late. Dammit, I loved her. But I was too young to really know. Just enough to wish I'd listened more. No one even says her name anymore......
Is that why i can't remember it?
Just small, wrinkly hands... the day I hugged her and was taller than she was..... a couple stories.... the way she teased her sons about their grey hair..... her raspberry jam..... the way she liked comics and the way she helped prepare the halibut, a visit in Alaska...... the cookies...... her smile..... and the way you'd never guess all the repression, the trouble she'd lived through. No one talked about it until she
God, how old am I?
I'm still here to give her my water after all these years.
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